When a parent is beginning to think of ways to speak to their child about sex, they consider time and place. This is one of the few and rare talks that must be done under the appropriate conditions otherwise the result could be catastrophic. I would assume that most parents dread the day in which that insufferable talk has to take place. The talk must be done with precise care, but of course, the parent cannot come off as though sex is not a normal activity.
Perhaps some of the best scenarios to speak with a child about what sex is include the age right around 6th grade. Of course, one must take in to consideration that not every child is the same. Some may be at different maturity, physical, and/or cognitive levels. The time frame around 5th to 6th grade is generally where children are going to pick up what they hear from their peers about certain activities. Some children may go so far as to create perverse ways of explaining their theories on sex.
Some of the perverted children may confuse the more innocent ones and could potentially give them false ideas. This could have an effect on their future sexual activity as adults. So when children begin to spread vicious rumors, this would be the ideal time to begin discussion with them about the right and wrong of sex. However, if you speak to them too early on, they may become freaked out by sex and think of it as a "bad" thing.
The ideal scenario:
When: Toward the end of 5th grade
Where: At home after a family activity (game night, etc)
How: Using false diagrams (the stereotypical banana and condom visualization)
The key is to be punctual. One must not delve into too much detail or it may overwhelm the child whereas being too vague may leave them with more questions. One must always consider that this is a serious talk because this is also the time period where children are learning who they are and discovering their sexuality. This personal and self-exploration of sexuality is critical for the child to eventually determine who they are and who they want to be or be with.
Parents must always anticipate questions. Be cautious with how you answer them because you do not want to scare them away!
At the end of the ideal scenario, the child should know the following:
- It can be scary sometimes, so think smart.
- It is important, beautiful, and fragile because it creates human life
- It is supposed to be enjoyable if done properly
- Sex is for people who are in love
- Sex is always beautiful
- Sex=Love
